June 5th, 2015…Still in the R & W, Albert Camus, all love notebook

Honestly I don’t know where to begin
So I guess I’ll just jump in
like I was original sin
And I can’t fucking rap
All I can do is smile
because I don’t have the clap
but I am doing my best to change all of that
or at least increase the odds
and mark all my quasi love affairs
on a picture of the city like it was a treasure map
Sometimes I tell myself I don’t have the time to write
but that is a bunch of bullshite
I’m just not living right
and I am not willing to sacrifice
and stay up all night
And my hatred for humanity
is really fair weather out of spite
for my own lack of drive and my own lack of bite
and my lack of bark
sometimes I wish my mind was sharper
like I was Tony Stark
Still I am thankful for my love of art
Poetry and creativity are always in my heart
and I crave the lightness of being
and a brand new start
But to tell you the truth I fucking hate brushing my teeth
and I wouldn’t be mad if one day I
took a nap and it lasted the whole fucking week
Curl up inside my own imperfections and
just fucking sleep
darkness and silence are close
cousins of peace
And in my dreams maybe I’ll write a book
and think about beautiful girls
who wouldn’t give me a look
and we can make love like we were crooks
stealing time from god
and we like it so much that we never really stop
in our minds our love continues
but in reality we take a break to go to the local
book shop
She turns me on to books that I have never heard of
before
and looks me in the eye
and tells me that she wants to make me soar
forever
but that she can’t anymore
now I am watching her walk out the door
before she left she said all good things have to come to
an end
Then she kissed me again
I can still taste her on my lips
and I am sure in the coming days and months
I’ll go over things in my head and just fucking
trip
Wishing that when I was with her that
I had cherished every breath
but like a good human being
I’ll really be wondering
what’s next?